soooo many lazy days ahead. i cannot wait! i shall read untill i fall asleep, just to wake up and carry on reading. i shall eat yummy food and delicious sweet stuff so i have a reason to go jogging at the beach every day. i shall attempt baking some of the above mentioned delicious sweet stuff. i shall perhaps attempt that painting. the empty canvas is gathering dust. i shall write and type and write and type and read. i shall s....w....i....m! in the icy cold waters of boulders beach. i insist!! i shall soak up the rays and regret not wearing more sunscreen. lots of icy cold glasses of water and warm cups of tea. market days. couch love.
Origami. Letters typed on old typewriters. Marie Antoinette and a ridiculous amount of homebaked cupcakes. *sigh*. Old drawings and paintings come to life again. Exploring the art of creating. Discovering the Ultimate Creator. Singing songs with old friends. Comfort. Seeing gifts come to life. Kitchen talk. Saying 'no' when you want to say 'yes'. Saying 'yes' when you should probably say 'no'. Admitting its real. The battle of the "mindtank". Not afraid to ask questions and confront emotions. Girl talk. Fairylights and Jane Austen novels. "Mister Darcy I presume." Giant material cupcakes. Primi. Ahhhh, making new friends. Letting go of old things. Reaching out to new things. Earl grey tea. Doodles.
"God looked over everything he CREATEd; it was so good, so very good! It was evening, it was morning—day Six."
I've been reading this book called, The Sacred Romance, by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge.
It's about the ultimate love story between the Creator and his Creation. The first three chapters has taken me on a journey (a pilgrimage) to find my heart within His heart. And to not silence it but rather learn how to follow it.
Yes, apparently following your heart, isnt always a bad thing.
There are things He has placed there. Dreams, desires, passions. And life will silence those things. But we have to learn how to never stop believing.
i have been overwhelmed the last couple of months. with everything that i am NOT. that i am lacking. that i could've done better, said better, dealt with better. this way. that way. your way. their way. His way. but living in light of others is really tiring. all you can do is be the best at being you right?
and yes, people will reject that and yes, it will hurt but what hurts more, and this i have found, is rejecting yourself. choosing to see yourself through their eyes. constantly pointing out your faults, your failures. insecurity, the cursed word feeling guilty about who you are. its like going against the deepest part of yourself.
knowing who i am and being at peace with that. being ok with my weaknesses and proud of my strengths.
i am desperately desiring to reach this place. and to find THE TRUTH. not opinion. not mine. not yours. HIS. i want to live only in light of who God says I am and who God himself is.
i wonder if it gets any easier.
You looked into my life and never stopped And you're thinking all my thoughts Are so simple, but so beautiful And you recite my words right back to me Before I even speak You let me know, I am understood - relient k
"The (new) record is about becoming the hero of your own story by fighting against what opposes you, both within yourself and from other people and society. There is a deep spiritual unity that all people possess and once you let go of the sort of mind control you and others can place on yourself, you can tap into it, and it's like having superpowers. It can lead you through an adventure no matter who you are, how dark your past is, or how messed up of a person you think you are."
"nothing is original. steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. if you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. and don't bother concealing your thievery - celebrate it if you feel like it. in any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: 'It's not where you take things from, it's where you take them to.'" - Jim Jarmusch
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Not even an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and luxuries, avoid all entanglements and keep it safe in the casket of your selfishness. But in the casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." CS LEWIS
wow i havent been on this blog in a while. havent really been creating much lately. still trying to get into the swing of 2009. and its almost april. eak. been scriblling words here and there...which should all accumalate into something beautiful soon. watch this space for more details :-)
things i am keen for this season: adventure prayer friendships spontaneity unpredictability risks faith family
"When you see the best picture I took of you, for example, you will know a little bit more, not just about yourself, but also about me. The fact that I could see you the way I did should be a comforting thing to you, because you know that a nebulous feeling you have about yourself, something you like about yourself, is transferable to someone else." -Edwin Land
1. A-Punk - Vampire Weekend 2. Mountains - Biffy Clyro 3. The Adventure - Angels and Airwaves 4. Hunting for Witches - Bloc Party 5. Girl - Beck 6. It's not you, it's me - Coconut Records 7. 1234 - Feist 8. We get on - Kate Nash 9. Taper Jean Girl - Kings of Leon 10. Steady as she goes - Raconteurs 11. Know your onion! - The Shins 12. Long legs - The Magic Numbers 13. Woe - Say Anything
14. (Hidden Track) Caution: Dangerous Curves Ahead - Maylene and the Sons of Disaster
books. daisies. God's indescribable love. His Word that comforts me. coffee. tea. cake. loud music. laughing. art films. art. films. friends. food. a good cry. truth. life. detail. fashion. the '70s. pen.
paper. punk. typewriters. second hand stores. swimming in the ocean. and the summer approaching.